Self's the man

In selfs the man Larkin compares his life to another person called Arnold who is married. So instead of comparing his life to others he is comparing the life between a man who is single (Larkin) and some who is married (Arnold). The poem also considers the topic of marriage. Larkin contrasts his life with that of Arnold who 'married a woman to stop her getting away / Now she's there all day.' Arnold is no longer free: his wife nags him and his salary goes to his children. The view of Arnold's wife is very negative: you may feel that the poem's attitude to women reflects a fear present throughout this collection. Larkin wonders whether bachelor life or marriage is the more selfish social choice.

The first stanza starts of with " Oh no one can deny That Arnold is less selfish than I". In these lines Larkin is saying that being single means you can be a selfish person, because you don't need to worry about any one else. It also tell the reader that the poem is going to be about Arnold who happens to be less selfish than Larkin. Furthermore it shows that Lakin is a cynical person who only looks out for himself. The other two lines in the poem "He married a woman too stop he getting away Now she's there all day", shows that in the poem,  Larkin will be talking about his view of marriage. The lines show that Arnold really loved this woman and had to be with her, so he married her to guarantee their future. Furthermore it shows that know Arnold is with this women he know can't escape from her because he does not want to be with her all the time. Larkin picks up on this and is boasting at this fact that Arnold can't escape.

The second stanza starts with "And the money he gets from wasting his life on work", this means that Arnold does not get anything from working and is wasting his life on it. " The following line "she takes as her perk" suggest that Arnold wife does not work and because she now has Arnold,  she does not have to work because Arnold is doing the work for her. The rest of the stanza talks about what Arnold has to spend his money on which includes "To pay for the kiddies clobber and the direr and the electric fire". This shows that when you are marries you have to spend the money you work for on your family and the essentials they need. This means that when you are married you can't spend the money you make on thing that you want to by for yourself. Also His negative view of women continues into the second stanza. “Perk”, another example of colloquial lexis, is a work bonus. That the woman takes “the money he gets” seems to present her as selfish, and almost like a prostitute, being paid for sex, and the uses direct speech “It’s Put a screw in this wall” mocks the women’s stereotypical words and undermines them, the imperative making her seem interfering and controlling. Direct speech is used again for the mother’s words: “Saying Won’t you come for the summer.” Again, mocking and scornful, this utterance holds pseudo-snobbishness.

The third stanza talks about what Arnold does in the evenings. Larkin writes" And when he finishes supper Planning to have read at the evening paper", this means that all day Arnold has planned that after he has finished his supper he will relax and read the evening paper which he wants to do. However instead of doing what he wants to do he has to "Put a screw in this wall" and says that "He has no time at all". This shows that Arnold has to do chores around the house and fix things around the house instead of relaxing. It also shows that because Arnold is married he has to put his family and house first and has not time to do what  he wants with himself.

In the forth stanza Larkin starts with "With the nippers to wheel around the house", this shows that Arnold has to run around the house getting things for his family which leaves not time for himself". it also shows how buys Arnold is because he is constantly getting things for his family. The stanza then talks about Arnold' s mother and law by saying "And that letter to her  mother Saying Won't you come for this summer". In these lines, Larkin puts "Wont you come for this summer" in Italic' to show that Arnold is mocking his wife, this means that Arnold does not like his mother in law but she has to do it for his wife's sake. This shows that when you are married you have to do things you want to do and meet other people you don't like, just to keep your wife happy. It also shows that Arnolds summer which is free time to relax for him, is now ruined by his mother in law which means he has no free time in the summer to relax.

In the fifth stanza Larkin reconsiders his few on being married and whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. The stanza starts of by saying "To compare his life to mine", which shows that Larkin is know thinking about Arnold's life , his own life  and comparing which one is better. This also shows that Larkin is considering whether being single is actually better that being someone who is married to another. He then decides that being single is not so good by calling himself " a swine" when he compares his life to Arnold's. This shows that Larkin is now saying that being single is quite bad and being married will make you have a better life. The next two lines in the stanza say" Oh, no one can deny That Arnold is less selfish than I". This shows that everyone can agree with each other that Larkin (being single) is more selfish than Arnold (being married).

The sixth stanza Larkin reconsiders his statement that being married means you are not a selfish person. In the second line Larkin writes " is there such a contrast", this shows that there is different side to marriage and that it is not all about doing things for your family. Larkin then writes "He was out for his own ends", which shows that even though Arnold is married, he can still do things for himself and can still be a selfish person even though he has a wife.

In the seventh stanza Larkin continues with this point and says "He still did it for his own sake", which repeats the point that Arnold is still a selfish person even though he is married to his wife and can still do things for himself. After making this point Larkin then realises that " he and I are the same" which shows that you can still be as selfish as being single as you can when you are married and have a family to look after.

In the last stanza Larkins writes Only I'm a better hand At knowing what I can stand".  This shows that Lakin knows what he can stand up with and what he can't. The next line " Without them sending a van" shows that people are coming to get Arnold because he is getting insane as he can't take himself. The last line of the poem "Or I suppose I can" shows that He undermines his point and that he still has some self doubt.

The poems structure is a 7 stanza poem with 4 lines on each. Larkin also uses the rhyming structure AABB.